why I fell off the fitness wagon (and how I'm getting back on)

Remember when I used to have a fitness Instagram?

Well considering I only had 250 followers, probably not LOL. But back when I was at Cal State Fullerton and getting into the health/fitness scene, I created an Instagram account with the "weights dates and shakes" name to post all my gym and food pictures.

And for a while, especially after I left Fullerton and committed to my new life path, I religiously was posting and hoping to make a break in the fitness scene.

Needless to say, it didn't happen.

In fact, until recently I had been in a bit of a fitness slump and hadn't stepped foot in a gym for five months.

5 MONTHS!

This is after almost over three years of consistently working out.

What happened? And how am I getting back into things?

There are three things I can pinpoint that lead to my falling out of fitness:

1) I was working out for the wrong reasons. Like most who start a fitness routine, I wanted to lose weight, tone up, and look good. And while there is absolutely nothing wrong with working out for those reasons, it becomes a problem when they are your ONLY reasons. I kept getting more and more discouraged as the image in my head of what I would become didn't happen, until I thought "What's the point?" and stopped all together. All the other benefits of exercise were never in the consideration - I was focused solely on losing weight and looking good.

2) I never incorporated enough variety in my workouts. Around the time I started committing to a fitness routine, the weightlifting scene really started to pick up. The idea that lifting heavy weights and doing minimal cardio was the best workout to do was impounded in my mind due to following fitness stars on Instagram and reading one too many Bodybuilding.com articles. Now weight lifting IS one of the best exercises you can do, BUT it's not the only one. I never explored other opportunities to exercise because in my mind if I wasn't weight lifting, then it wasn't good enough.

3) I lost my menstrual cycle for two years. While the reason why was never discovered, I believe a big reason why was due to my stress over my fitness and not listening to my body. After about a year of no period, I started to question my fitness regime - most girls lose their period due to too low a body weight, too intense exercise, and/or not eating enough calories. But I wasn't doing anything too insane, I was definitely not underweight, and I was weighing and tracking everything I ate....so what was wrong with me? That question haunted me so much, I scaled back on the exercise and increased my calories - a year later it finally returned.

So here I was - period just returned, no longer tracking my food, and not as focused on exercise.

Oh and school just started.

That and my health became my number one priorities - anything else would just have to wait.

But I still didn't consider exercise part of "health". To me health meant keeping my period, and I would be damned if I was going to lose it again, especially if exercise was part of the reason why.

So the gym became a distant memory.

As did half of my clothes.

It was hard to accept I couldn't wear that favorite blouse or those skinny jeans anymore, but hey I still had my period - I was healthy.

But was I?

No.

And it took me too long to realize that.

So how am I getting back into a health exercise regime?

My intentions are different. Right now I am not exercising with the goal to "lose weight" in mind - I am trying to discover what I like/dislike and find routines I can enjoy, So far I've learned I enjoy yoga (which I used to detest) and body weight exercises, but will lift heavier weight from time to time, I'm also working on incorporating more cardio, as I believe I am the type of person who needs it. I just feel really good when it's done - it's actually convincing myself to do it that's the hard part!

And through all of this, I'm relearning that fitness CAN be fun and enjoyable. I'm eager to discover other venues - pilates? Ballet barre? Running?!  (doubtful LOL)

I've also had to accept that as someone entering the health/fitness/nutrition world, I need to practice what I preach. This means making exercise a priority, right up there with school. Getting up an hour early to fit in a workout will no longer be a faint idea, but a new pastime.

In time, I know those clothes won't be hanging in the closet anymore, going to gym won't seem like a chore, and exercise won't be such a bore. (my rhyming skills are on point.)

I hope with this new mindset, the gym and I can be friends - friends who bicker and fight and never really get along, but friends none the less.