About five months ago, I decided to go gluten free.
I didn't advertise it to social media or share it with a lot of people - it was a silent experiment I kept to myself.
But now I've decided to stop.
Why did I go gluten free in the first place?
I was not consuming much of it before. Maybe some pasta and pancakes on occasion, and a slice of Ezekiel toast to spread my avocado on in the morning.
And I was not experiencing digestive issues from consuming gluten. I did not have bloating issues, and I don't think I have ever had to run to the bathroom.
However, I do have an autoimmune condition called Hashimoto's Thyroiditis, were my body produces antibodies that attack my thyroid, leaving me with hypothyroidism.
When I was diagnosed almost two years ago, I was dizzy when standing (and passed out once), having constipation issues, missing my menstrual cycle, and not the happiest with the way my body looked.
Once I got on the proper medication though, the majority of my symptoms went away. I was feeling great and able to live a happy life.
However, research on Hashimoto's and hypothyroidism lead me to multiple "experts" almost enforcing that anyone diagnosed with Hashi should be gluten free, as a strong link between celiac disease and hypothyroidism has been found.
Even though I was feeling good on a pretty low dosage of medication and my thyroid levels were great, I was intrigued by the idea that one could "cure" themselves of this autoimmune disease by finding the "root cause" - the event or food that caused your body to start an autoimmune attack.
So after some thought, I decided to go gluten free to see if I noticed a difference. Being a nutrition major, I thought this would also be something to highlight for future opportunities - healing disease through food? That's every dietitian's dream!
Plus, I was not eating much gluten to begin with. How hard would it be? Just use gluten free bread in the morning, and find gluten free options for any craving that arose.
In the beginning, it was easy. But then I would come across a food I used to enjoy, or was new and sounded delicious, and realized I could not eat it because it contained gluten.
While I was not necessarily suffering from living a gluten free lifestyle, there are a few key things I recognized that have lead me to ditch it - for now.
First, being gluten free can be expensive. Want a gluten free crust instead of regular? That will be $2 extra. Want to make some gluten free cookies? Expect that gluten free flour to be more expensive than regular flour. Any restaurant I went to that had a gluten free offering also came with an additional cost.
I did not notice a difference being gluten free, nor did I notice any difference when I did consume gluten. Because I do not have celiac disease nor the accompanying digestive issues, there were a few times were I realized I had accidentally consumed a food with gluten, only to feel no different. I also did not feel different being gluten free. If anything, I felt a little bit worse because...
Being gluten free was a trigger for me to binge eat. While I have never been diagnosed with binge eating disorder (BED), I do struggle with binges and have been working on my relationship with food. Through this I have learned that restriction is the biggest trigger for me to start a binge - if I tell myself I can not or should not have something, it makes me want it more. Being gluten free, I found myself eating copious amounts of gluten free cookies "because I could", or putting together odd combinations of foods to cure the craving for that food I wanted but could not have - because it contained gluten.
I could not heal my autoimmune disorder and heal my relationship with food at the same time. So when I realized I needed to choose, I decided to go with the latter. While both will be a lifetime journey, right now my hypothyroidism is mostly under control. How I view food, however, is not -and that is what I desire to heal and fix more than anything.
To celebrate the end of this journey, I ate one of my favorite foods - a hot, original glazed Krispy Kreme donut.
It was delicious.
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